How much is too much?

I have often been told that I tell too much, and that I share too much of myself. It is possible that many people who have told me this meant that I talk too much as well. My mother, friends, and even my husband have instructed me to keep things closer to my chest. Certainly, these comments are meant to protect me.

Recently I shared with a friend and co-worker that I have noticed that it has become commonplace, dramatic, popular and in some instances expected for us to share the horrors of our pasts when they include things such as abuses, addictions, alternate lifestyle choices and other high profile and currently socially acceptable sins -- especially if these things were committed against us, out our control, or if enough time has past since the occurrence to assure the listeners of some semblance of cleansing.

I then shared my insight that we don't appear to be as comfortable sharing our recent errors, or sins that would incur less dramatic impact on our audiences such as; lying, deceit, lust, greed, manipulation, and selfishness. We have tended to be comfortable sharing the larger ticket items since they can be easily seen as being outside of ourselves. Alcoholism, drug addiction and the like are all things that are seen as diseases, demons, and such that we have no real control over them. We didn't 'do' or 'commit' them as much as they were done to us. Therefore we can incur some pity, some form of social acceptance as these were things committed against us...not by us. Yet the lesser sins, are harder to twist into social acceptance. I wonder how much impact would be had by someone confessing their sins of lying, manipulation, lust, etc.? What would come of someone honestly confessing the devestation that befell everyone around them for their 'little' discrepencies.

My friends response was that it benefits no one for someone to share so much or to be so honest with either their past, their present or their internal conflicts.

He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity (Pr. 21:23)

Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; When he closes his lips, he is considered prudent. (Pr. 17:28)

Maybe my friend is correct? But let's not tell her......

It's a whole new Day!

Looking for a good read? I am almost finished with "True Faced", and I highly recommend it.

It has been a long time since I read a book and/or took a class in church that impacted me so much. I wish I could go into great detail about all the things I have learned from this book. But the truth is that I don't feel that I have learned anything in the sense of mastering the text, it's more like I have been enlightened. This enlightenment has started me on a new journey in my walk with God. A fresh walk, a new path with new scenery and a new perspective on the end of my own path.

Speaking to God in a new way, with new verbiage and without the old expectations or limtations. Coming to terms with the fact that people can love or accept me simply in their own way of loving or accepting me, and not in the way that I expect them to love or accept me. (and it's OK.)

Understanding what humility really means, what trust, confession, repentance and ultimately grace really mean. Seeing a journey and knowing that I will not be alone, that I am not and have never been alone on the journey.

Of course I am still in awe of just how simple it really is. How simple God intended it to be. (Of course this new knowledge brings me to my newest internal discussion involving why we need to make everything so complicated to begin with?)

One outcome for me has been acceptance . . . . of myself. Acceptance that I am not a Martha. For so long I wanted to be a Martha. I thought life was easier for the Martha's. They are accepted for their abilities. Their needs are understood. They are praised for the talents and gifts that they offer.

I am not a domestic goddess, not a June Cleaver, and I never took home economics in school. I never learned to sew. I hate to clean. I don't make homemade Christmas gifts, or specialize in pretty wrapped gifts for all occasions. I never remember birthdays, anniversaries or send cards. Emily Post would consider me a neanderthal.

I would love to have people over and show them hospitality....(when I am in the mood for it). And even then, it's not the traditionally accepted form of hospitality. I would rather have deep conversations, share insights or have a productive debate, than to prepare a tasty little something and make small talk. I absolutely hate the thought that people would be in my home simply to gauge my value and then find it imparitive to 'pray' for me and my inabilities with others.

I am coming to terms with the fact that I am a Mary - not a Martha. Of course I shared this little piece of sudden enlightenment with my husband. He looked at me with great wisdom and support and said "It's OK, I already knew that." How could I not love this man.